I know. [And that's strange to admit to, even after all of this, and she squeezes his hand gently.]
I found out in port. I could hear him on the communicator, and I had to- [She cuts herself off, not wanting to revisit those memories while they're still raw, how the place had been trying to wear her down to the place she had been in when she let herself drown, to let the town take her, listening to all the awful things Yusef said about her.
She hates that it still hurts, and that gives her back her resolve, makes her want to vocalize what she'd decided earlier. She looks him in the eyes and keeps holding his hand.]
I'm tired of letting them control my life, James. I've given up so much for this stupid, criminal organization, all for the sake of someone I loved, because I thought he loved me, too, when in reality, he was using me from the start. The only reason I agreed to come here in the first place was because I thought he had been killed. Do you know how stupid I feel, for letting myself get manipulated like that? [Answer: extremely.] I'm tired of it. I don't want to waste any more energy on them or what they did to me.
[She carefully cups a hand to his cheek, avoiding the cuts.] So, I love you. I don't need you to do anything differently, [i.e., you don't have to say it back.] but I'm tired of feeling like I'm not in control of my own life.
no subject
I found out in port. I could hear him on the communicator, and I had to- [She cuts herself off, not wanting to revisit those memories while they're still raw, how the place had been trying to wear her down to the place she had been in when she let herself drown, to let the town take her, listening to all the awful things Yusef said about her.
She hates that it still hurts, and that gives her back her resolve, makes her want to vocalize what she'd decided earlier. She looks him in the eyes and keeps holding his hand.]
I'm tired of letting them control my life, James. I've given up so much for this stupid, criminal organization, all for the sake of someone I loved, because I thought he loved me, too, when in reality, he was using me from the start. The only reason I agreed to come here in the first place was because I thought he had been killed. Do you know how stupid I feel, for letting myself get manipulated like that? [Answer: extremely.] I'm tired of it. I don't want to waste any more energy on them or what they did to me.
[She carefully cups a hand to his cheek, avoiding the cuts.] So, I love you. I don't need you to do anything differently, [i.e., you don't have to say it back.] but I'm tired of feeling like I'm not in control of my own life.